Judge Q. Public: Interesting or Cruel?

Thanks to my handy-dandy friends on my facebook friends (J. Rutkai and Bishop Long), I had the pleasure of viewing this video along with the first sip of my coffee this morning:





But is it really interesting or is it really kinda mean? 

I grew up with the golden rule: Never tease animals and especially never tease them about food. Not only is it mean (because they don't have opposable thumbs therefore lack the ability to make a sandwich), but one day they may maim you over it. Or maybe they'll just eat you or your pets for lack of sharing that bacon or bag of Snausages used as an object of torment.

I have little doubt that this particular dog ate the cat mentioned in this video. I think responsible citizens ought to demand proof that the cat mentioned is still alive. This little one minute video may be "funny" or "interesting" on the surface, but who knows what is behind the scenes? Half-eaten obese cat? Dog plotting his owners demise? Who knows how this dog will retaliate after being mercilessly teased?

C'mon folks- Bacon. You cannot implant the idea in a human's mind (unless they are a vegetarian or something and still its cruel) that they will be having bacon only to fail to produce that meaty goodness. We are a nation of bacon whores. You could wrap poop in bacon and it'd taste good.

Could you imagine the riots if bacon were suddenly outlawed?

Just because its a dog in this video and not a person doesn't make this okay. Dogs have rights, too. Someone should call PETA. Or Caesar Milan. Or the SPCA or whomever you call when an animal faces cruelty. This video surely is animal torture and the owner of this dog should never ever be allowed to eat bacon again.  

Rachel Ray Lazy?

The other night I made chicken stew with turkey bacon dumplings. Let's face it: Bacon makes everything better. When in doubt, add bacon is my motto.

I like to cook, though you wouldn't know it lately. One of my favorite blogs, Cooking with for Assholes posted a recipe for Late Night Bread. It was a parody on a Rachel Ray recipe posted on Food Network's website. Ray's recipe? Late Night Bacon.

Ill-fated attempt at humor by celeb-u-chef? Uncommon knowledge of dine-at-home middle America?  There are two things that trouble me deeply about this recipe:

Firstly, its a microwave recipe. I admit microwave turkey bacon often, but only to get that super crispy-bacon-effect on a microwave can achieve or because I'm in a damn hurry. When I see a chef on television, the only thing they should microwave is chocolate when making some sort of super cute candy coating. Lord knows that no one utter the compliment "Damn, that girl can microwave". Save the microwave for those instant mash potatoes or can of Spaghetti Os (just don't microwave the can, put it in a bowl first).

Secondly, I don't get paid to cook nor do I get paid to educate anyone on making simple, wonderful food not to mention that Food Network doesn't pay me to come up with new and exciting recipes to engage their target audience. Well, that demographic must be filled with bumbling idiots leading me to believe that any schmuck of the streets could be turned into a Food Network Star because that recipe earned 3 out of 5 stars.

It gets worse. The "similar recipe" linked to this offense to my culinary senses? Tagliatelle Bolognese. You've got to be f-ing kidding me.

Rachel Ray if that recipe is joke, it is not funny. Please, for the love of god, stick to what you do best... whatever that is...