Booby Traps

Asperger's is such a fun and interesting disorder because you never know what your kid is going to do next. Right now, we are into skateboarding. That's probably because we've expanded our social horizons and have some Paxil each day that makes us want to get out and shred (a term meaning skateboard as far as I can tell). Most kids in our town skateboard, so I'm glad the my boy has a way to break the ice with new kids he meets while enjoying common interests  with his regular group of friends. 

It's a little scary to watch him maneuver on a skateboard.  As a mom, my super power is the ability to see ever single injury-- big and small -- that could occur while he's practicing tricks. "Wear your helmet" is my new motto it seems (and for someone with sensory issues it's a miracle I can get him to put it on). I try to ensure a proper fit every time he puts it on. For him, it's entirely uncool to have your mom dote over you like that. (Evil safety freak, I am. I'm also no longer allowed to refer to myself as "mommy" because that, too, is uncool and embarrassing.) My boy does have cat like reflexes on hit skateboard and since his birthday, I've only dressed one skinned knee. It makes me wonder if he is a re-incarnated skater, because with everything else and like his mom, he's a klutz.

But bragging about my super powers to see his future broken bones and his amazing ability to not to break anything while trying the latest skating trick is not why I write this post. Skating is his new interest. When his anxiety was higher, when he was worried about intruders all the time and before Paxil, his obsession was digging little holes, or booby traps, around our house whenever he was outside.

At one point, he'd dug so many holes in the backyard that my hubby went to work filling them all in and we instituted a no digging holes in the backyard policy.  Why? Because the only people the kid was going to thwart were himself, his family and his friends. The only thing thwarted after the great hole filling in by daddy was the no more holes policy. The boy was literal. We said no more holes in the BACKYARD. With asperger's, you have to be specific.

The kid started a small pit to China in the side yard, or alley between our house and our neighbor's -- right split in the middle. The hole once again was to trap anyone who meant us harm. We put a stop to that digging as soon as we discovered complete silence and a missing shovel. We explained to the boy and his hole digging companion (after all, boys love to get into the dirt, so the kid's obsession was cool)  that that's where our neighborhood had a special drainage system put in because our gutters were emptying into our neighbors house and garage. If he'd hit a pipe, it would have been disaster. I kept meaning to fill in that hole, but never got to it. I also reminded the kids that part of that hole now belonged to our neighbor, who wouldn't appreciate the extra security.

Then we parents instituted the absolutely no digging holes anywhere at anytime without express permission, except at the beach. No use of shovels without permission, except at the beach. Specific enough? I think so. 

The other day, I was looking for my less fearful much braver kid whose forgotten almost entirely about intruders (and only says "lock the door" 50 times a day instead of 5,000) and whose focus is now playing with other kids like a regular, non-anxiety having kid. He's supposed to let us know where he is going and who he is with whenever he changes locations. This time, he didn't. Mommy, er mom, was irritated because he forgot a lot that day. (Too many children in the neighborhood behind us are unsupervised, unless its by me our neighbor, which is one reason we worry when the kid goes-a-playing out of our line of vision.)

I was walking along the side yard in a huff when I discovered his booby trap worked really, really well. As I fell onto my right knee, sliding across the grass and dirt, my left foot (the one I'd injured severely as a teenager, which has never been quite the same) did its own crazy Tony Hawk like trick. I cussed, I held back tears, I said "the boy is now grounded officially" and I realized that his booby trap was successful, especially since enough time had elapsed to allow grass, when it needs mowing to hide the almost adult foot sized pit.

It being Fourth of July weekend, I couldn't imagine hobbling into the emergency room to wait ten hours to be told what I already knew: I sprained something. So, I did all the good first aid stuff while my husband found the kid playing happily with well supervised kids. The kid felt bad that because we were looking for him and because he'd dug a hole, I got hurt.

The kid and I both learned some valuable lessons from that experience. The first is that yes, the kid needs to report his where-a-bouts because bad things happen when you don't, which he's taken to heart. The second is that there is a reason we don't dig holes in the yard (a phase I think is over). The final thing is that his booby trap was really well designed and all those times I thought about filling it in, but put it off makes me currently an idiot.

I also think I now prefer skateboards to booby traps. 

My foot didn't get better, so I ended up at the emergency room at seven in the morning to beat the crowds today. It appears I injured the middle of the foot, in which is an area difficult to x-ray clearly. The doctor guessed that nothing was broken with caveat that sometimes you can't see a break until it starts to heal. He gave me something for the pain, said I didn't necessarily need crutches as long as I stayed off my foot for a few days. Since it was already injured, I could have strained the innards of an already weak foot. If it doesn't get better within a few days, I'll need to see a specialist-- either a podiatrist or an orthopedic surgeon. So let's pray it gets better because its summer, we need beach time and I still have a recovering husband. 

June in review

Auntie Em looking stunning at the beach!

Matt hitting the waves!

My niece Erica who is so 1940s chic

Free Fall, Baby!!

He's too cool for this.

The girls talked Matt into trying something new!

Auntie Em, Chrissa, Erica and Matt: My boy gave them the tour of the beach and boardwalk.

I don't know exactly where to start or what subject to write about. June proved to be one of those months that people write books and then go on to make movies about. Except I don't have some old family farmhouse with infinite guest rooms in a picturesque setting. I live in a what's technically considered a condo, but people call a townhouse or duplex, which we stuffed five extra people in like sardines.

I did my best to make everyone feel comfortable and welcomed, despite my not being exactly set up for hosting guests. Normally, my guests seem to BYOF (or bring their own furniture) because they are staying for more than a week. This time, it was sleeping bags, pillows and air mattresses (thanks to Mom and Dad A.) and blankets in a pick your place to slumber manner.

My boy met my oldest sister, his aunt whom I'll refer to as Auntie Em, for the first time since he's was a baby. With his asperger's, family is important to him (which seems in opposition with the popular understanding of autism, but really isn't). With Auntie Em and him, the relationship just flowed naturally for the both of him. She understood him because she understood herself, perhaps. After all, both of their brains are different.

Auntie Em has terminal brain cancer. It affects her in many ways some which are similar to Matt and the other similar to my hubby's. The kid asked if Auntie Em was dying to which I answered truthfully. She's out lived her prognosis by an amazing amount of time, which I hope she continues to do.

Because having the family here wasn't enough fun, for Father's Day, we bought the kid's Dad dwarf hamsters- a male and female named Herman and Skittles. They are nice little tings, social and the kid does really well with them. Socks thinks that we bought them for her sometimes meowing for furry, small kitty treats.

In the middle of all the family fun, the hubby had a set-back. Apparently, he pushed himself too much physically, so now he may have a slow cerebral spinal fluid leak or slow bleed in the brain. We had a fun trip to the local ER. They never know what to do with him. Basically, they gave him some magic pill to reduce his increased pain and we zipped up to the neurosurgeon two days later, who ordered MRIs and MRAs. Unfortunately, the hubby couldn't stand the closed in tube so now he need sedation or something else. It's unresolved at the moment.

Until then, its vigilant care for him from Nurse Carrie. There's so much to this that it's scary at times. It was hard to find balance between family visiting and husband recovery. Of course everyone understood. My mom was thrilled despite me being so divided in attention. She had her daughters in one space many times, got alone time with each of them and many, many memories were made that were super special for moms.

So, let's put the family reunion in pictures:

My parents wedding photo with my sisters in their pretty dresses.

 

My mom brought copies of old pictures to share with the family. I made copies and everyone got a set from Snapfish.com (love that site for photo printing!!) Then of course, the hamster cage and one hamster. Herman is more social than his mate, Skittles. She's a bitchy little thing.

Hamster cage Chrissa had to help us put together.

Herman (hamsters are hard to photograph!) Skittles is albino.

All and all it was a great reunion. I hadn't seen my sister or her daughters in years. I hope we get to visit again (I have a feeling we will see a niece or two in the near future since they get free lodging). Matt really got along with his cousins, especially since their dad brought them up as gamer girls.

I'm waiting for life to get settled again. I don't have much time to do anything. Matt is still terribly unsettled with his dad being in recovery and having this set back. The family visiting threw us all off our schedules, though he did remarkably well considering. It's hard for him to switch gears, going from lots of attention to just the mom and moments with recovering dad. That's the hardest for Matt, I think. Not having John well enough. They used to spend so much time together, now it so... different.



That's only a tiny bit of what happened... a synopsis. Our July calendar is IN-freaking-SANE between doctor's appointments, family functions, swimming lessons for the kid and the regular day to day stuff. Plus, I just hurt my foot-- the bad one I sprained entirely as a teenager. Who wants to go to the ER on The Fourth of July weekend? Travel time around here has tripled. A ten minute drive is now takes thirty. No thanks, I'll live. I don't want a cast because I need those beach days.