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That tree appears to be mighty innocent, huh? |
You know why? Because pollen. You know what pollen really is? I'll tell you:
Mother Nature's deep, dark, vile secret. |
Yep. Tree Sperm. Pollen is TREE SPERM. I am terribly allergic to tree sperm. It makes me sick. I get headaches that last for days. I itch, sneeze, and drip snot at random times because my body decides the mere act of inhaling pollen is cause enough to produce ungodly amounts of histamines to the point where I am utterly debilitated.
So while I think nature is effing beautiful and wonderful, I effing hate it this time of year. Trees and plants become my body's mortal enemy.
That means I always get the stuffing beat out of me because I'm not really good at fighting.
And we all know trees do this to get our ice cream.
The End.
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