Saturday, November 20, 2010

Rachel Ray Lazy?

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The other night I made chicken stew with turkey bacon dumplings. Let's face it: Bacon makes everything better. When in doubt, add bacon is my motto.

I like to cook, though you wouldn't know it lately. One of my favorite blogs, Cooking with for Assholes posted a recipe for Late Night Bread. It was a parody on a Rachel Ray recipe posted on Food Network's website. Ray's recipe? Late Night Bacon.

Ill-fated attempt at humor by celeb-u-chef? Uncommon knowledge of dine-at-home middle America?  There are two things that trouble me deeply about this recipe:

Firstly, its a microwave recipe. I admit microwave turkey bacon often, but only to get that super crispy-bacon-effect on a microwave can achieve or because I'm in a damn hurry. When I see a chef on television, the only thing they should microwave is chocolate when making some sort of super cute candy coating. Lord knows that no one utter the compliment "Damn, that girl can microwave". Save the microwave for those instant mash potatoes or can of Spaghetti Os (just don't microwave the can, put it in a bowl first).

Secondly, I don't get paid to cook nor do I get paid to educate anyone on making simple, wonderful food not to mention that Food Network doesn't pay me to come up with new and exciting recipes to engage their target audience. Well, that demographic must be filled with bumbling idiots leading me to believe that any schmuck of the streets could be turned into a Food Network Star because that recipe earned 3 out of 5 stars.

It gets worse. The "similar recipe" linked to this offense to my culinary senses? Tagliatelle Bolognese. You've got to be f-ing kidding me.

Rachel Ray if that recipe is joke, it is not funny. Please, for the love of god, stick to what you do best... whatever that is...

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