Monday, July 11, 2011

Frakenboot

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I started this last Friday. I'm finishing it today, Interweb-Gods willing. 

Yes, it does. I've shed tears while trying to keep up with my kid, walk up the stairs and while doing other day to day things we take for granted. I saw my normal doctor who only wanted me to take a strong pain killer for breakthrough pain, and ibuprofen for the rest, except she didn't prescribe a strong pain killer. So, uh, thanks.

The doctor did get me in to see an orthopedic surgeon (or something) later this morning. I did something to my foot but the ER only focused on acute care and the doctor only focused on immobilizing my foot in a boot contraption that makes me feel and walk like Frankenstein. Senior citizens using walkers can out run me. So, I have dubbed this contraption of my foot "Frakenboot".

My fear, the thing that causes me great anxiety, is how on earth am I going to walk in the sand to the water in any sort of non-plaster contraption. And what if this new doctor says I need plastering? I might need to get plastered, just not the "of paris" kind. Lastly, how on earth am I going to keep up with my autistic kid, who is in full "I want FREEEEEDDDOOOMMM" (Bravehart like) mode because its summer and his friends are always knocking on our door. He's proven in the last week that he also needs "SSSUUUPPPERRRVISSSIONNN" (Mommy like) to avoid the harry moments of peer pressure he's for which he's not ready or fully equipped to handle.

Then there's the husband, still in recovery, still waiting for the doctor to figure out how to scan his brain for two hours in a tube when the hubby can't handle it.

The timing is terrible.

Now here is the continuation. I am too lazy to go back and change tenses. If you have no idea what I mean by 'tenses', Lord help you.

The orthopedic surgeon was meh. He was all set to take images of my foot until he asked me about my cycle. It was delayed, so he stance no x-rays for potentially pregnant women. I said "aww.... c'mon... I'll wear a shield". I asked if he'd amputate the whole damn foot instead. No dice.

Good news, though: The fact the location of the pain changed was a good sign... a sign of a sprain as opposed to micro-fractures. Explaining that to my pain sensors does no good, unfortunately. They don't care what is causing pain.; they just say eff-off when I walk too much.

The doc gave me some exercises to do daily so that my foot doesn't heel in a ballerina position. Despite my wanting to be as graceful as a ballerina, I have done said exercises. I have to use the Frakenboot, but take two two hour breaks a day without it. Part of that time requires ice and elevation and part regular foot use.

When discussing something for pain, the doctor had the pre-pregnant attitude. Normally, he'd prescribe Tyelnol 3 (common for sprains, which I know because this foot is on sprain number three), but in my case he told me absolutely NO PAIN MEDICATION, not even an ibuprofen.

Naturally, we went directly to the drug store for home pregnancy tests after the appointment. As soon as that stick read negative, I had myself some ibuprofen. Later that night, I had two cocktails. Well, one and half really because I started falling asleep. I'm not a drinker by any means.

My favorite part of the discussion was having someone help me chase after my kid all day so I can rest. While most people can hire a baby-sitter and/or mother's helper right off the street, we require a professional with college degrees or so many years of experiences... and licenses, insurance and bondage even. That $8 an hour quickly rises to $20 or more an hour. Stipends reduce the cost, but in times like these would exhaust our meager resources. Ya know, cause of the husband being out of work due to brain surgery.

Yet, when you are a specialist, such cost of care isn't tallied up in your head, but your accountants.

Now I know I'm not pregnant and my foot feels a little better. It's too bad that the Frakenboot doesn't fit perfectly. It created a small hole in my leg that is becoming infected. I'm hoping that heals so I don't need to go back to my regular doctor because we have enough doctor's visits scheduled this month. I'm getting kinda tired of them.

The one good exercise the orthopedic surgeon recommended is that I walk on the sand use my toes to play with it. I take this as a sign that the Universe is telling me to take a vacation.

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